Tea Party for Schmucks

In the new movie Dinner for Schmucks, a financial analyst looking to move up in his firm is invited to take part in a cruel game, where an assortment of losers and lunatics are brought to a dinner designed to set them up for mockery. The analyst finds his useful idiot in the form of a doofy amateur taxidermist, whom he bonds with via a zany series of ensuing antics. In the feel-good ending, the analyst confesses that it was he who was acting like the true 'schmuck' all along. One is reminded here of the unusual game being played between Israel (and it's American supporters) and those wacky Christian Tea Party zealots. Their budding bromance is still in it's beginning stages, though it seems likely that this unlikely pairing also has two true 'schmucks'. Antics will surely ensue.

This past week, the Israel advocacy (formerly civil rights) organization the Anti-Defamation League, which had previously warned about the dangerous white supremacist potential of the Tea Party, has now made common cause with them over objections to the proposed Islamic community center to be built in downtown Manhattan (aka 'the ground zero mosque'). Their Islamophobia justifies itself with claims of protecting friends and families of 9/11 victims from "unnecessary pain" caused by seeing Muslims, warning the Muslims that their existence in the financial district will be "counterproductive to the healing process". Apparently, the proper way to heal a wound from 9 years ago is to continuously pick at the racist scab that has hardened over it. Some Muslim kids playing basketball at their community center causes some sort of irrational "pain" to racists, so the kids should obviously be the one's barred from the neighborhood. Perhaps the ADL doesn't realize that Muslim human beings feel pain too (such as when they're discriminated against), taking a stance akin to the one pescatarians have towards fish.

The 18 Families: Stratification in Israel

Critics of Israel's violent behavior have tended to focus on questions of ideology: to what extent is the occupation an example of traditional colonialism? Does Israeli apartheid find its roots in Zionism? How does the (historical, and ongoing) ethnic cleansing of Palestine inform the national consciousness?

These questions are certainly worth exploring, yet they often dominate the discussion at the expense of indicators which might be equally telling: who's making money, and how.

Israel is a deeply divided country. A recent report  presented to the Israeli cabinet as the country files for membership in the Organization for Economic Co-operation and Development found that the nation would be the most "unequal and poor" in the group. One-fifth of the population lives below the poverty line and only half the nation earns wages "suitable for a developed country." 

Eighteen families now control fully 60% of the equity value of all Israeli companies. Between 2005 and 2007, Israel produced more millionaires per capita than any other country. According to a recent article in the Jewish Standard, 

Top managers can earn as much as $523,000 a month, compared to the $1,440 monthly income earned by the average Israeli, according to the Adva Institute. “Israel now worships the golden calf of the free market: privatization and sink-or-swim competition,” Yossi Melman, a senior writer for Israel’s daily Haaretz, wrote in a blog for the Washington Post.

The breakdown also has a racial/ethnic dimension. In 2004, the Adva Center released a report which found that Ashkenazi Jews per capita made 136% of Israel's national average salary, while Arab-Israelis only brought in 75%. 

Birthright Brooklyn

Here's a classic comic by yours truly from 2007, posted in dedication to BrooklynVegan, JellyNYC, and Chuck "the Hipster Senator" Schumer. Expect more new and classic comics to be posted soon. Yes, I draw comics too. I contain multitudes.

In Honor of 'The Twelve Spies': Speaking Out Against Atrocity on Tisha B'av

Yesterday marked Tisha B'av, a Jewish holiday remembering some of the very bad things that happened to the Jews on this day throughout history, the original set being known as 'the five calamities': the destruction of the first temple by the Babylonians, the destruction of the second temple by the Romans (supposedly creating the Jewish diaspora), the Roman crushing of the Bar Kokhba revolt, desecration of the temple grounds following the Roman siege of Jerusalem, and the original calamity, the slander of 'the twelve spies' against the land of Israel and their subsequent punishment by God. The last guys were probably some of the first people ever referred to as 'self-hating Jews'. More on them later.

Some of the other calamities to befall the Jews on this tragic day have been the Pope's declaration of the first crusade, expulsion from England in 1290, expulsion from Span in 1492, start of World War I, and the transfer from the Warsaw ghetto to Treblinka. On Tisha B'av in 2010, or the 9th of Av, 5770 on the Jewish calender, calamities continue, although this time around some of them take the form of having to bear the ethical, spiritual burden of the oppressor. An Israeli tank attack on Gaza which killed one supposed militant also left ten wounded, two of them children (a fact buried in many news stories). Israeli Border Police in the Al Baqa'a valley near Hebron dismantled a cistern and irrigation pipes used to grow vegetables, while the farmers who came to protest were cleared away by ear drum shattering sound grenades. In Jaffa, settler extremists attempted to burn down the historic Hassan Bek mosque; like the other times when settler's have attacked this mosque, no arrests have been made. On the eve of the holiday, the IDF demolished 55 homes in the West Bank village of Farasiya having declared it a military area, while the Israeli courts sentenced an Arab man to prison for raping a Jewish woman based on the fact that he had led her to believe he was a Jew (both admit the sex itself was consensual). Meanwhile, it was revealed that even more Israeli courts would be built on top of to-be-demolished sections of historical Maman Allah cemetery, which has seen sections desecrated previously to make way for hotels, bars, and parking lots.

Birthright by Choice, Meshuggeneh Christians, and Bar Mitzvahs for Palestinians

This past week, America's Reform, Conservative, and Reconstructionist Jewish establishment leaders united to speak out against a controversial new bill that they claim could prove to be devastating in it's effect of alienating the Jewish 'diaspora' from the Israeli state. Rabbis have made dramatic sermons about the bill, using strong words like "unjust", "tragic", and "catastrophe" to emphasize the true gravity of the situation. They've even pressed some US senators to make the bold move of addressing these concerns to the Israeli government. Is this finally marking the emergence of a popular movement by American Jews to remove themselves from complicity in Israel's crimes against the Palestinians? Has the brief web life of this blog already served to mobilize the masses to say 'ya basta' to Israeli chutzpah?

Before I start getting delusions of grandeur, or before anyone starts thinking the mainstream Jewish establishment has that kind of ethical backbone, I should specify that the divisive new bill has nothing to do with war crimes, land theft, or Palestinians, but rather Jewish conversion protocol. Already, the Orthodox Chief Rabbinate oversees all official conversions within Israel, but the new bill would further strengthen their control, potentially effecting the legitimacy of conversions done outside of Israel and hence the ability for converts to immigrate there via the Law of Return. Certainly, this gesture is hurtful and insulting to the diversity of Jewish religious practices, some of which offer a progressive alternative to Orthodox's traditional misogyny and homophobia. It also means on a practical level that Johnny from Cleveland, who converted because he really liked Defiance, read the wikipedia entry on Kabbalah, and wants to marry Sheila Schwartz, can't as easily move to Israel to claim Palestinian land as his 'birthright'.

Interruption as Intervention: Why I Fucked with Chuck

Yesterday, as I found myself deep in a sea of Williamsburg hipsters awaiting a "Pool Party" concert at East River State Park, a rather unexpected "special guest" was announced by an entirely too enthusiastic emcee for the artfully apathetic aesthetes who dared not display any sentiment beyond irony. I assumed maybe we'd be graced by some luminary of the scene (spending the last five years in Binghamton, NY prevents me from naming whom that might be). 

Imagine my surprise when he announced Senator Chuck Schumer. 

Now, I have a very visceral reaction to some politicians. I'd like to think it comes from the proud populist tradition of publicly shaming the scoundrels of State who rarely face even the most mild rebuke in their pampered existence, yet see fit to unleash misery on working people throughout the world. But maybe it's not so grand as all that. More likely, I was simply overcome by the need to rebuke this vulture.

Israel's LOLocaust

There's an old Jewish joke, recounted by Woody Allen in Annie Hall, about two old ladies vacationing in the Catskills. Eating dinner, one turns to the other and says, "Boy, the food here is terrible," to which the other replies, "Yes, and such small portions!" I think that essentially sums up my feelings on Israeli comedy. It's generally not funny, groaningly obvious, and often seriously racist towards Palestinians. At the same time, if some Israelis didn't take themselves so seriously, they would be too busy making viral videos to worry about fulfilling biblical prophecy.

Sadly, instead of inhabiting the transformative role comedy has the potential to play, much Israeli comedy right now seems to compliment, rather than scoff at, the injustices of perpetual occupation and apartheid. Take the IDF (please!). This past weekend, a group of soldiers uploaded a video to YouTube that they may be facing disciplinary reprisals for (the real farce is getting disciplined for making memes rather than, say, demolishing homes). In the video, a group of soldiers is patrolling in Hebron, guns drawn, the Muslim call to prayer playing in the background. Suddenly, the prayer is replaced with the Ke$ha song "Tick Tock", featuring lyrics such as "Don't stop, make it pop / DJ, blow my speakers up" (if only the 'blowing up' the IDF commits were merely audio, not visceral). The soldiers then proceed to engage in what the sharp analysts at Haaretz call a "Macarena-like dance", suggesting the soldiers are veterans of virtually any mid-to-late 90's bar mitzvah. It would be one thing if this was just another ill-conceived scene in the Disaster Movie franchise, but these are actual soldiers currently engaging in an illegal and immoral occupation, potentially provoking the besieged local Muslim population by drowning out their prayers with cheesy American electropop. Forgive me for not LOLing.

The Jewish Agency and the Death of 'the Diaspora'

This past week, the Jewish Agency for Israel officially undertook what has been seen by some as a radical shift in the organization's agenda. Instead of focusing on pushing aliyah (immigration of Jews to Israel), they are now re-branding with the goal of fostering a global Jewish identity centered on connection to Israel. The entire "strategic vision", tiresome ambiguous language and all,  is available to read on the Jewish Telegraphic Agency's Fundermentalist blog (despite the kitschy name, the blog is firmly ideologically Zionist; Islamic and Christian fundamentalists beware, your Jewish equivalents are winning on the pun front). You can also connect via their hip new online presences on Twitter, Youtube, and Facebook (possibly the only Facebook group listed as being founded in 1929).

While the Anti-Defamation League condemns the blaming and targeting of 'diaspora' Jews for the crimes of the Israeli state, the Jewish Agency is fanning the flames of anti-Semitism by telling the world that yes, Jews and Israel are basically one and the same. With agencies like this, who needs racist skinheads? Indeed, instead of offering inclusive 'Jewish Education', they offer "Jewish-Zionist education" (and yet, the Agency is against hyphenation when it comes to mixed marriages). In actuality, not only does this betray the diverse beliefs and practices of the worldwide Jewry they claim to represent, but their organization's own history. Originally founded to represent Jews under the British Mandate, the then-named Jewish Agency for Palestine brought together both Zionist and non-Zionist Jews, the latter of whom advocated for unity rather than partition from the indiginous Arab population. Historical mistakes give way to historical revisions, and thousands of years of Jewish history is now reduced to serving a hundred year old nationalist ideology.

Elections

I'm breaking the tradition this blog has begun to develop in its short life of longer articles, but for the sake of a more active posting schedule and simply to share something awesome, here's an incredible poem by my friend Ben Crossan, who breaks down the imperial hypocrisy and genocidal logic of America and Israel's relationship to Gaza. Really brilliant.

"Don't get it twisted, that's what Gaza is, an open air prison we think we can play cops and robbers in."

Racism Wrapped in Rainbow Flags

Sunday's annual LGBT pride march in NYC featured many of the typical opportunists leeching off the festivities, corporations and politicians seizing the chance to hawk their wares or pander for votes during what used to be the commemoration of a radical anti-police riot at the Stonewall Inn. Fitting in well with these shameless self-promoters was the state of Israel, represented via their New York Consulate and the Tel Aviv municipality. They marched waving an equal number of Israeli and rainbow flags, suggesting somehow an equivalence between a racially-based state and a symbol of diversity.

Participating in the delegation was gay porn actor-cum-mogul (no pun intended) Michael Lucas, producer of films such as "Men of Israel", "Shameless Holes", "Piss Sluts", and "FARTS!". Recently, the Zoolander lookalike has found a second calling in politics, acting as an apologist for Israel and basher of Muslims in mainstream gay publications such as The Advocate, formulating ingenious strings of buzz words such as: "The world should understand that the conflict between Israel and Palestine is not a conflict between two political entities. It’s a conflict between two worlds — one that is stuck in the Middle Ages and one that belongs to the 21st century. It’s a conflict between civilization and barbarism; between freedom and oppression; between democracy and dictatorship; between human rights and violations of human rights." This past year, he started a sort of Birthright Israel for horny gay dudes, getting tourists exclusive access to "sexy soldiers" on IDF bases.

Elsewhere, Israel's state-sponsored attempts at pride march co-option were met with resistance. Toronto's Queers Against Israeli Apartheid dissident bloc was at first banned (and then unbanned) from this year's march following a campaign by B'nai Brith, supposedly under the justification that the term 'apartheid' was offensive (nevermind that the comparision has been made by former Israeli Prime Ministers Barak,Olmert and allegedly even Ben-Gurion). In Madrid, Israel's official delegation was banned from participating as organizers expressed dismay over the flotilla massacre, much to the chagrin of Russian-born Michael Lucus, who quipped, "Europeans are not very smart."

Violent Origins & Contemporary Apologists

In the brief but excellent philosophical/political polemic "Violence," Slavoj Zizek engages in an interesting thought experiment on Zionism. He presents the reader with the following unattributed quote:

"Our enemies call us terrorists... People who were neither our friends or our enemies... also used this Latin name... And yet, we were not terrorists... The historical and linguistic origins of the political term 'terror' prove that it cannot be applied to a revolutionary war of liberation... Fighters for freedom must arm; otherwise they would be crushed overnight... What has a struggle for the dignity of man, against oppression and subjugation, to do with 'terrorism'?"

Those familiar with the eccentric Lacanian knows his favorite mode of argument is to present the reader with the seemingly obvious, only to settle on a completely inversion conclusion. The above quote might immediately be attributed to a present day Islamist militant, but its source is actually Menachim Begin, when he lead the Igrun paramilitary group in its resistance to British mandate control. Begin would later become Israel's sixth prime minister.

Zionism or International Law: On Which Turf Do We Battle?

Among the publishing class of Israel’s critics, a boundary (by no means inseperable) exists in how best to approach a critical analysis of the situation, and in turn, which path toward a solution. For the likes of Norman Finkelstein, Noam Chomsky and organizations such as the U.S. Campaign to End the Israeli Occupation, philosophical discussions about Zionism are fine for the classroom, but changes in policy are the goal. Finkelstein often points out that the entire “international community” (meaning for these purposes global institutions and popular opinion) is fairly unanimous on the basic contours of the issue: Israel is required by law to retreat to the 1967 borders, end the occupation, and arrive at a just and consensual settlement to the refugee question (whether full right of return or reperations). The International Criminal Court has ruled against the apartheid wall, and every mainstream human rights organization is in basic agreement about the systemic abuses of Palestinians by the IDF.

Yet there is no such consensus on Zionsim, they contend: national liberation movement or racist colonialism? Fallen from grace or corrupt from the start? Activists in the Finkelstein camp may recognize the inherent problems with such international institutions as the U.N. or NGO’s (Finkelstein himself remains an avowed Communist, surely grasping how distant such bodies are from his ideals), but see no use in arguing from a weak and divided position. Should international law actually be followed (an untested proposition to be sure), conditions for Palestinians would surely ameloriate. Deal with the possible, they say, not the ideal. As Hussein Ibish of the American Task Force on Palestine summarizes in a recent debate,

“If you are involved in Palestinian national liberation for decades, as I have been, then it is clear that to have an effective political program you need a clear and well-defined goal. Without it, you can have no coherent strategy, and, without a coherent strategy, you cannot be effective. Things will just be random and ad hoc, and whatever momentary victories take place end up getting lost in the ether. So the question, ‘What is our actual goal?’ is crucial.”

No Country for Old Men

Haim Bajayo is a living witness to history. Born in 1935 in Hebron to a Jewish family, Bajayo witnessed how a neighborhood where Jews and Muslims lived together peacefully was transformed by racist nationalism into a cultural battlefield.

Hebron today is within the borders of the occupied West Bank, and is home to some 86 Jewish settler families living amongst tens of thousands of Palestinians. These families, unlike Bajayo’s and other indigenous Jews, moved in following Israel’s 1967 land grab, and brought with them plenty of IDF soldiers to ensure their safety and the Palestinian’s misery: the IDF significantly restricts Palestinian freedom of movement, have indiscriminately fired on civilians, and protect settlers when they engage in communal violence against Arabs.

The attitude of the settlers sits in direct contrast with many local Jews from Bajayo’s generation. Case in point, on Wednesday, a left wing Knesset delegation was greeted with an insane barrage of irrational hatred:

One man was accused of drinking Jewish blood because he was drinking a can of Arabic coke. The settlers shouted ‘This is not Palestine, it is not Arab land and you’d better get used to it!’.

The Two Exploitations of Gilad Shalit

Tomorrow, according to The Jewish Week, a flotilla will pass down the Hudson and East rivers, ending at the United Nations. Unlike the ‘Free Gaza’ flotilla that serves as it’s inspiration, it will not be carrying any humanitarian aid, no mid-afternoon nosh for Secretary-General Ban Ki-moon. Rather, this flotilla’s mission is to draw attention to the plight of Israeli soldier Gil Shalit, who has been held prisoner by Hamas since 2006, to teach delegates that Gaza is not “a besieged utopia of wine and roses”.

Meanwhile, a pro-Hamas news outlet reports that Shalit is intently following the World Cup to allegedly take his mind off the fact that the Israeli government has thus far refused to accept Hamas’ offer of a prisoner swap.

Like in soccer, Israel’s supporters and Hamas are embroiled in an aggressive game of kicking Shalit’s plight back and forth, trying to score the most symbolic points. One can’t help but feel for Shalit, as propaganda wars rarely actually care about their human ammunition.

Another Jewish Week writer, Jonathan Mark, contends that Israel’s easing of the blockade was a mistake since they didn’t get Shalit released in return. It is unclear what connection prisoners of war have with withholding toys from all of Gaza’s children, but it does put Jonathan Mark conspicuously in league with the Grinch.

But of course, shifting the attention away from the humanitarian crisis (of which toy shortages are sadly the least of Gaza’s woes) by bringing up Shalit is all part of the game, which is why the reactionary ‘Free Gilad’ flotilla is embarking now, in the aftermath of renewed international interest. The last time I remember hearing so much about Shalit was around the time of the widely condemned 2008 siege. How convenient.